8 Things You Should Never Tell A Man

Boundaries must be kept in every relationship if it must work. As a lady, there are certain things you must keep to yourself. Even in a committed long term relationship you have to be discreet at times. 

Many ladies are made to believe that no secret should be kept in a relationship, and some others terms secrecy as dishonesty. This is not true. Radical self disclosure is definitely not the healthiest and safest thing to do to keep your relationship. 

There is no assurance of a lasting relationship so you should definitely know who you are dealing with before you start going out of your way to earn their trust.

Remember everything can be used against you in the future. 

In cases where it doesn’t end well, whatever you said about yourself or your past becomes arguments and proofs that you are the bad person.

Keeping some things to yourself to protect your image and identity is not being dishonest. 

Wait till you are given solid reasons to let your guards down. It’s a subconscious character and nature of humans to judge others.

Lets look at Eight (8) things you should never tell a man

1. Never tell a man about your past relationships, sexual partners and mistakes.

Never! Never tell a man about the history of your past relationships. For example, how many partners you had, your body count, the traumas of your relationship etc. It’s not his business at all. You are starting afresh so let bygone be bygone. It would be very unfair to be judged by the past.

It’s normal for a woman to have the urge to tell her new found love about her past because she has already become comfortable or probably she sees her new man as her therapist or a substitute for her healing and maybe her best friend. 

Since he is the closest to you, you may tend to lean towards him to share your feelings and open up. It’s very risky as you don’t know for sure this person’s intent towards you. 

If a man is asked to choose between a lady who has been intimate with twenty men or a lady who has just been with two men, the answer is quite obvious. This would raise his level of insecurity and his surety of your fidelity when the relationship kicks off.

Avoid sharing your exploration journey. Avoid sharing your mistakes. If you've had an abortion, you don't have to tell him. Not all men are matured enough to understand or forgive you for your past. Some men will resent you. Some will try to replicate it in the new relationship or take on some unhealthy adventures because of the memory you’ve imprinted in their mind. 

No man wants a lady with an history of promiscuity or a woman who they realize belongs to the streets.

On the other hand, opening up to him as a honest lady you want to be by revealing your weaknesses and the intimate things about your life isn’t safe at all. Let’s assume the relationship doesn’t last, what would be the outcome?.

2. Never tell a man how much money you make.

Transparency sure has its limits. You wouldn’t want a man to pretend he wants to keep you when in actuality he wants you for the paycheck.

 You shouldn’t tell a man how much you have in your account or the amount you are expecting except you want him to either feel financially incapable, reduce his responsibility or want him to make financial projections with the money in your possession.

3. Never compare your man to your ex.

Men and comparison are two parallel lines. Men are  egocentric, so it would only hurt their ego if you start comparing. If you want your relationship to flourish, you definitely have to cultivate habits of a healthy and successful relationship.

If your ex was the perfect man you definitely would still be with him.

 Never put your partner in a competitive state or measure his qualities with the character of the former man.

Make it a rule to avoid any possible form of comparison because no man wants to live in another man’s shadows. If you think he’d change because you told him how your ex treats you, I’m sorry but the truth is he wouldn’t change but you would only plant seeds of insecurities in him.

4. Never reveal your feelings to a man.

This is especially if the relationship has not started or you are not yet in the dating phase because whatever you say could be used against you in the nearest future, that’s if you even make it to the dating phase.

Every woman is the catch not the hunter. Men are the gatekeeper of commitment. If he loves you, he’d chase you till you are his and this should not be vice versa. Dating is a game, know the rules and be smart too. Treat them as you treat a stranger till they are ready to make steps to committing to you.

Never sit on the bench of assumptions. If he didn’t ask you out, you are not his girlfriend. Let him decide if he wants to date you or not. If you don’t want to hear things like ‘You forced me into this relationship' or ‘I never wanted you', be strategic about revealing your feeling or forcing things to work out by force because you love a man.

5. Hide your wealthy background.

This is especially important during the dating phase. Money is a defense and it is a big deal in this century. People would perceive you differently when they find out that you’re wealthy. 

Many people could act like they do not care about money or status but in reality they actually do.

Money influences people and their decisions so be wise when talking about your family because he might just want you for the package of wealth and nothing more. And moreover it may instigate him to expect you to contribute financially to the relationship. 

6. Never tell a man the secrets of your friends.

Remember the old adage that says ‘Birds of the same feather flocks together’, this is still very useful in terms of relationship. 

Just the way you open your mouth to tell him your friend had an abortion is just the same way he would think you’ve had an abortion. Denting the image of your friend to your partner is not advisable.

Cultivate the habit of speaking rightly about people especially your friends and closest alliances if you don’t want to paint a wrong image of yourself in his mind.

7. Never tell a man how to treat you.

The way a man treats you in a relationship is a show of how he would treat your when you are married and this treatment may even decline in marriage. If you keep teaching him and giving him tutorial lessons on how to treat you everytime I doubt you’d have the strength to do that for a lifetime.

Men don’t like to be controlled or told what to do. A man would only do what he wants to do. He might be caring, but it could just be that he doesn’t see that you deserve his effort or he does not love you that much.

Most people come from different backgrounds and sadly some of them did not grow up with love. You cannot expect to harvest cassava from a plantain tree. It’s okay to complain and tell him things you are not cool with but if he doesn’t make effort to change you can just call the relationship a wrap and save yourself the future chaos. 

8. Never tell a man the details of your family and upbringing.

The respect you give your family as a lady determines the respect a man would give them accordingly. You don’t expect a man to say good things about your father when you’ve already told him your father is a drunkard and listed his irresponsible behaviors.

 Carry your family with pride no matter how bad it may be. Show him your family comes first and you love them as well.

You should not tell a man you were brought up in a rough way because he would see you as that. Don’t wash your family’s dirty linen outside. 

Your family is your first identity so be on their side and don’t allow love to take a toll on you. If you think he’d marry you because you tell him how bad your background is, you would be making a big mistake.

Thank you for reading.

I’d love to see your comments below!